Tamir was a childhood loner and goes somewhat into her background as the daughter of a blonde Mormon and an Israeli Jew. Her parents divorced when she was 11, her father returned to Israel and has not been back to the U.S. since, so she spent her summers with him there, becoming fluent in Hebrew. She spills a fair amount about growing up Mormon, including things she’s not supposed to reveal, like the goings on inside the temple. That was interesting. However, she continually states the obvious and the writing is fairly sophomoric.
She graduated from Brigham Young University, got married, and by age 25 was a divorcee. Before you wonder how she considers herself to be married virgin, simply put she learnt to love instead of having sex. "Without even realizing the real Alyne hid closed off from the world, from herself, deep inside me in a little box no one could find." Brimming with honesty and confidence, she overcame her sexuality, and an endless cycle of existential crises. But for 25 years, she put everyone ahead of herself, repressing things that didn’t fit the traditional story. But in reality, she was miserable struggling to reconcile her flawless image with shame around her sexuality, infidelity, and an endless cycle of existential crisis. Dear Alyne is a one of a kind coming-of-age story that is still being worked about.
"I don't know how other girls were, but the truth was, I had never wanted to have sex and had never been even slightly tempted." Alyne spent her whole life being inundated by confusing, problematic messages about her body. But the reality was, neither the pills worked nor any of the therapies. Whenever she thinks back, it made her feel sick. Anything vaguely sexual, even conversations, had a huge negative stigma around her.
Alyne could never think about her past with ease. It made her feel furious and horrified. She felt ashamed of her own natural feelings, punished for expressing affection, and self-policing her sexuality as a crime. That having sex meant that she would become literal trash, dirty and discardable weighed heavy on her mind. But divorce opened a new door for her as she found herself finally-free the expectations of her family and faith.
A divorce or a breakup, Alyne learnt, may seem like a death sentence, but is often has a bright beginning. One learns that profound connection(s) is worthy of exploration, and not something to be fearful of. Sex is temporary but Love is permanent. "I'm realizing that perhaps the most important thing in life is to explore the world within.
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