What will a book be like if it claims to be as much for the happily married as otherwise; if it is directed to those in love as also to those who aren’t into it yet; and if it will interest those without children as well as those who have plans to rear kids? Essentially a memoir of lived experiences, Immortal for a Moment lets the reader realize that life is all about growing up amidst such determinate situations which are invariably filled with multiple shades of grey leading to a rather foregone conclusion that life’s template is still a work in progress. Each fleeting moment holds new reflections on what life could be like.
Natasha Badhwar extends her search for a deeper meaning in the daily rigmarole of life, beyond the experience of parenting three daughters in her debut book. She lets her thoughts take a deep dive into the obvious, reflecting on events and happenings that are often taken for granted. There are elements of intrigue in her expressions as she recognizes those inhibitions which are better left aside as useless baggage. Deeply personal but honest nonetheless, the stories of everyday living reflect significant life truths which readers can easily relate to.
The author seems to suggest, and for good reasons, that nothing should remain unsaid that can help explore many different shades of one’s own life. Come to think of it, nothing is sacrosanct but a life lived equitably and responsibly. Simple realization that marriage can be lonesome will help one avoid it from becoming a pile of resentments. The more you take it as a sport, the more you begin to play it to your capacity. Indifference and disagreements are essential aspects of any marriage; it only begins to work when one gives up on it.
Natasha’s prose is lucid and reflective, comforting those who lack courage to override entrenched notions and internalized beliefs. These are deceptions and by overcoming them can one access hitherto unexplored parts of oneself. ‘Anyone’s life can be a situational comedy provided one is willing to explore joy in unexpected places’, she argues. Immortal for a Moment is an invitation to preserve every fleeting moment because the more one holds onto them, the more meaningful life becomes. The task is to break the world of silences that we have created around us, allowing these silences to break free in words that explore our strengths while deploring vulnerabilities.
Collection of columns written over several months, each of some fifty short essays in the book help the reader reclaim parts that one is reluctant to include in life’s narrative. Much of what she writes can help expand possibilities, create new frames of references, and protect social boundaries. One can relate to each of the episode or life experience either as an insider or an outsider, on both accounts it can shake the reader out of slumber.
The response to the self-righteous judgement by an unsuspecting woman who, perhaps distressed by the sight of the author’s three little girls, sought a reconfirmation to her preconceived notion that ‘these three because you wanted a boy’ is worth retelling for clarity and a sense of purpose. How do you deal with those who are lurking around with quick-stick labels for everyone? The best way, and perhaps the only way, is to shut out ignorant voices by speaking louder than them. The query ‘what was in them that she hated so much’ had shut her up for good.
Immortal for a Moment holds the message that while we may have sorted our external selves, our inner selves are yet not free from biases and prejudices. The external façade is what hides our true self, and that is how our society is indeed structured. Far from addressing the intricate web of oppression and disparity, we often participate in perpetuating different forms of inequalities. Should we let our lives be betrayed or rebel against what we realize is absurd?
Natasha explores complex issues of everyday existence with the maturity of a serious thinker. It is not difficult to align with her line of thinking that seeks simple answers to complex questions. In her raw and honest writing, the author puts her heart out there. In doing so, the book invokes a Natasha in each one of us because each one has the power to change lives. But to be able to do so, we have to travel into the depths of our own consciousness. It is Natasha’s small world that opens windows of possibilities for unlearning and relearning to change the world around us.
It is not a self-help book but its words are soothing and comforting nonetheless. After all, hanging on monkey bars of material desire is not what life is all about.
Immortal for the Moment
by Natasha Badhwar
Simon & Schuster, New Delhi
Extent: 233, Price: Rs 350.
First published in the Hindustan Times, issue dated June 1, 2019,
